Brought to you by Anne J. Ford, MSW, LICSW
If you’re a mom with ADHD who is struggling to raise a child, or children, with ADHD, it’s time to take heart. Here are ways to ease the journey of parents who share a diagnosis with their kids. Several authorities share similar advice:
- Keep your cool when clueless people tell you to “just stay calm. This is an extremely challenging task and mom needs to find some stress reducing ways such as yoga, walking, friend’s time consistently.
- Monitor yourself and self correct when needed. Sleep, exercise and eating habits can help or put you into the “upset zone.”
- Medication is not magic. Meds most likely will not solve all of your problems, they may reduce hyperactivity and inattention, they do little to lessen parenting difficulties. Behavioral therapy among others is needed to improve social interaction including family relationships.
- Hold “fire drills’ with your kids. Handle conflict at a no conflict time. Talk about what you all can do next time you aren’t calm. Then act it out, go to time out, use problem solving strategies.
- Avoid finger pointing. Don’t blame everything that goes wrong on one family member. Family members influence each other, it’s best to acknowledge the ways which everyone contributes to a conflict, everyone learns.
- When you find you’re in a power struggle, back out. No more destructive battles, find a way to discuss the limit setting at a calmer time.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Parents consider which power struggles should be pursued, as matters of safety and which should be let go for the sake of the family’s sanity.
- Manage bad behavior. Sometimes a parent who shares a diagnosis will identify so closely with a child that she or he will fail to set appropriate limits. There’s a fine line between explanation and excuse, be specific.
- Outsource what ever you can. Find out if your school offers help with homework or if your child has accommodations, request a lighter homework load. If you can afford it, hire a tutor.
- Maintain your SENSE OF HUMOR.
ADHD never goes away, but you can make improvements by managing
symptoms and learning new therapies that can increase skills for
processing, pacing and improve self control.
Adapted from Kathleen Nadeau Ph.D and Andrea Chronis-Tuscano Ph.D
article, "The Double Whammy Game Plan."
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